F is for Freedom to BE.

Is for FREEDOM to BE!

Who doesn't want to be free? Slaves, prisoners, those held in captivity, even those who are trapped. When you read those words, you conjure up pictures of human beings who are slaves or treated like slaves, people held behind bars or locked away from the world, others who are physically trapped in war torn cities and villages. But what about those who others see as free, yet they themselves feel like slaves, prisoners, under control of another or held captive in their own homes. These people aren't living in third world, uneducated or uncivilised countries, in fact they could be your next door neighbour or it could even be you.

The above description is stark and while there are unfortunately still people subjected to the extreme picture it paints, thankfully there is almost always a road to freedom. It may be fraught with danger, and require considerable courage and faith – but it does exist.

There are a considerable volume of people whom we know as friends and family, whom are living a life of covert pain and helplessness everyday in their own homes. There are no bars on the windows, locks on the doors or physical restrictions preventing their exit. The reason they stay is because they believe, or they tell themselves, they can't leave.

The good news is you can leave, you can be FREE. There is always a way out, if you choose to leave and be free. If you don't leave a restricted situation such as this, then you are choosing to remain a “Victim”. Being a “Victim”: requires an active choice!

I have been a Victim of mental and physical abuse in my life, but one day I shouted Stop! No More! I chose Freedom. It wasn't easy but the hardest part was admitting the truth to myself. The relationship just didn't work, I wanted to believe I could fix it, in doing so, I changed and I lost my connection to who I truly am. It was a dysfunctional relationship, it's not important why or who was to blame, what's key is that it would never work. Accepting this was difficult, but staying continued my victimhood. So I left it behind. Cut the person out of my life completely, to survive. Even in my state of rock bottom self-esteem and self belief, I knew it was the right move, I had to regain my freedom. That was ten years ago, in reflection, I know had I left before I had, I would have saved more of me and my sons suffering. Freedom tastes very good, my respect for my freedom has grown considerably, it is not something I would ever compromise again.

Hindsight is 20:20 but as I write this I am hoping that reading about my experience and how I regained my freedom might help someone to choose their road to freedom.

Being free is waking up in the morning, knowing there is no argument – in the past my first thought on waking was “are we fighting? Am I talking to him or not?” What a horrible way to start each day. Wondering “when” today, my son or I would do something “wrong” to start the next argument. It was inevitable, spending my days walking on eggshells trying not to upset him, but it was never enough.

I use my past as a frame of reference for any women out there who may recognise similarities with their own current lives. If so, I conclude by speaking directly to you when I say “it's not your fault, what's happening to you is not normal, this is not how good relationships are, believe in yourself, and ask yourself this”. “Would you like to wake up tomorrow happy, without having to mentally prepare for the next argument, because you know it's inevitable”? How would it be if you could just wake up and find you had been dreaming, and you were safe, content and FREE?

©Yvonne Clarke

Posted by Yvonne Clarke www.spiritualrays.com